Oh, where did it go? Has it been lost for so long that you forgot it even exists? I finally acknowledged my complete disconnection from my body and libido in my mid-30s. The initial disappearance of this lifeforce started to fade in my 20s, the prime age for sexual freedom and self-exploration. But I was hiding!
Losing your libido can be caused by various factors, whether physical, mental, emotional, physiological (such as hormonal imbalances), or traumas. It can be a myriad of things that send you into a shell where you sense “I’m safer” here.
For me, my sex hormones completely shut down and closed the door to me feeling alive in my body. I experienced amenorrhea (no menstruation) from age 21 to 28, and despite reassurances from Western Medicine that “everything was normal”, I knew something was very wrong.
Now, specializing in women’s hormones and their balance, I understand that my symptoms, from the absence of menstruation to acne, depression, brain fog, fatigue, and LOW LIBIDO, were all connected to my hormone levels being low to non-existent.
If you find yourself later in life, with a family and a partner, but lacking the luster for life and sex, this blog is for you! Reclaiming your libido may feel like an endless search under every rock, but it’s worth it.
I want to be transparent about my personal journey first. This might be “too much information”, so feel free to bounce at any time.
My awakening started in my mid-30s. I was fresh out of a bad relationship and healing from copper toxicity caused by a copper IUD, I decided it was time to reclaim my cycle sovereignty, body wisdom, and sexual evolution. Single and focused on reclaiming this for myself, but my hormones were still a hot mess due to the copper and lingering chronic infections, adding extra stress to my body. Vaginal dryness persisted, a sign of low estrogen.
Though I was doing all the right things to renew my hormones – destressing, limiting alcohol, improving sleep, eating nutrient-dense foods, detoxing heavy metals and copper, and nurturing gut health – my libido remained elusive.
I still felt dry and stagnant. So, what did I do?
I grabbed my best sex positive friend and went to the sex shop to explore the many options for sex toys. I invested in jade egg training that led me to buying some beautiful yoni eggs and wands.
This is where the real transformation began. I needed to be patient with myself, moving through the blocks that held me in a frozen state. It required a rhythmic, committed practice of self-love and a ceremony with myself to listen to my deeper desires and darkest fears.
Combining this practice with all the healing efforts for my cycle and hormones, I experienced a shift. Rediscovering my libido in my mid-30s might label me as a late bloomer, but it’s proof that it’s never too late to find our inner lust and vibrancy.
Are you considering transitioning off hormonal birth control and have pregnancy plans, or are you certain about not wanting to conceive at this time?
Do you often experience intense symptoms leading up to or during your period, such as low mood, low libido, acne, GI issues, irritability, brain fog, or exhaustion?
Are you seeking to reclaim your sexuality and feel empowered in your body?
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If you have been feeling stagnant and you’re ready to reclaim your libido, here are a few steps to get your juices flowing:
- Create Space for Self-Exploration: Be open to exploring your body and desires without judgment. Commit to creating a space where all of your emotions can be felt. Dedicate regular time to connect with yourself, listen to your needs, and acknowledge your fears.
- Prioritize Hormonal Balance: Address any underlying hormonal imbalances by seeking guidance from a hormone specialist like me. I use functional lab analysis, cycle charting, and intuition to guide your personalized path to health.
- Foster Emotional Intimacy: Build emotional connections with your partner or yourself through open communication and vulnerability.
- Engage in Sensual Activities: Incorporate activities that ignite your senses, such as dancing, indulging in favorite scents, self-massage, or spending time in nature.
- Consider trying something new: like sex toys, jade egg training, or other practices to connect with your sensuality. I’m happy to provide a referral to my favorite training and therapists that I have used. Just reply to this email.
- Enjoy a book on the topic: “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski, “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure” by Sheri Winston, “Dear Lover” by David Deida, “Sex for One” by Betty Dodson, “The Sex & Pleasure Book” by Carol Queen.
Reclaiming your libido is a journey of self-discovery, self-love, and patience. It requires addressing physical and emotional aspects while embracing your desires and sensuality.
Remember, it’s never too late to reignite your inner lust and vibrancy, empowering you to embrace a fulfilling and passionate life.
And, please don’t ignore your body’s signals that something is wrong. Having a low libido is a sign your body is trying to tell you something!
If you’re left feeling unheard, confused, and unsatisfied with the answers you’re receiving from traditional methods of investigation, this is when functional lab assessment is strongly indicated.
These tests are not looking for disease! They are looking for internal stressors, healing opportunities, and ways to optimize. If you’re ready to get your hands on the right functional lab tests, resources, and guidance to find resolution to hormonal chaos and not feeling “at home” in your body, then I would be honored to assist you.
Coming from someone who wasn’t fully living for so many years of my life due to dysfunctions in my gut and hormones, I’m a firm believer that health is the greatest wealth and the foundation from which the joys of life flourish.
I’m here when you’re ready to receive support!
